Put Me To Sleep
by unforgettable images
Summary: After a horrifying event sends Bella Swan to live with her father, she doesn't know if anything will ever be okay again. Can someone help remind her what it was like to truly feel alive?
1. And Then It Hit Me

**Chapter One: And Then It Hit Me**

The windows looked like a dull mosaic of greys and greens as the rain came down in torrents around the police cruiser. Bella Swan could barely make out the never ending wall of trees through the glass. The only break in the monotonous scenery was a splash of color here and there that marked the location of a local pizzeria or post office. She sighed. Forks hadn't changed one bit.

"That's the high school," her father, Charlie, mumbled. They were the first words he'd spoken since the airport. Not that Bella minded. She had plenty on her mind to fill the entire ride without ever speaking a word.

She squinted to try and see through the downpour. The school passed by quickly as the cruiser drove past it. It was small and dull, same as the rest of the town. She tried to fight the twist in her stomach, digging her nails into her palm. She had promised herself not to break down in front of Charlie. It wouldn't make her feel better, and he would only feel uncomfortable.

Bella held her breath until the feeling passed and spent the rest of the drive staring at the dashboard. Charlie didn't say another word.

The house was smaller than her old one. Her room was upstairs, two doors down from Charlie's. Strategic, she assumed. Having a sheriff as a father was usually less than desirable. She wouldn't put it past him to have her windows barred and phone tapped. Not that it would interfere with anything. Her social life had never been the blooming, exciting world portrayed on TV.

"Your room's the same as always," Charlie grunted. He set the remainder of her possessions on the wooden floor, examining the fray piece of duck tape anxiously. Bella tried to give him a reassuring smile, but she knew the tips of her mouth barely moved.

"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate everything." And she meant it. She knew this was weird for him, and he was doing everything he could to make it as easy as possible. Well, as easy as it could be.

Charlie nodded, sadness reflecting in his eyes. "I know, Bells." He patted the box almost reassuringly, like he wanted to give her a hug, but knew that it wouldn't do any good. "Well, I'll leave you alone. If you need anything, just let me know." And with that, he left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Bella stood there for a moment, looking around the room. It was fairly plain. She only stayed here for a week or so every few months, and she had kept most of her stuff in her old room. Now everything was packed up in the four boxes sitting on her bedroom floor. She began to feel overwhelmed again, her breaths coming out in shaky jerks. She tried to hold back the onslaught of emotion, carefully unzipping her suitcase and flipping the top off.

What her eyes first set on sent her immediately into quiet, controlled sobs. A face looked back up at her with bright eyes and a wide, loving smile. The frame was made of sand and shells from a trip to Mexico a couple of years ago. Next to the picture was a zip lock bag of orange bottles filled with various medications. Pills for anxiety, depression, insomnia, night terrors, and about ten other mind-numbing diagnosis.

Bella grabbed the bag and threw it against the closet door with a shriek, tears pouring down her face. She tenderly removed the picture frame from the luggage, not allowing her trembling hands to jeoperdize its safety. She allowed her body to collapse onto the unfamiliar bed in exhaustion, gripping the last saved image of her dead mother as she cried herself through the sleepless night.

* * *

"Miss Swan... Miss Swan?"

Bella jerked out of her daze to see the school secretary staring at her curiously. The plump woman had been going over the papers that Charlie needed to sign and been about to give Bella her schedule when she realized that the brown eyes were not focused on anything.

"Are you okay, Isabella?" she asked kindly, eyes frowning. "I know things have been hard..."

"I'm fine," Bella snapped, grabbing up the papers and snatching the schedule from the woman's fingers. "And it's Bella." She quickly exited the office and found a water fountain. The cold water on the back of her throat woke up her senses. Her exhaustion now rested safely around the edges of her mind.

First period crawled by uneventfully. The teacher was monotonous and dreary, crooning on about the Civil War with the enthusiasm of a funeral director. Bella ignored the stares of the other students, trying not to think about how they were already assessing her and making their judgments. No one actually said anything to her, and she was okay with that. Her goal for the day was to make it until three o' clock without causing any kind of scene. There had been enough of that at her old school.

The seconds ticked by dauntingly. She spent part of her second period calculating the number of seconds it would be until the end of the day while the teacher handed out study guides for a vocabulary test. She was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't even notice that the teacher had called on her to answer a question.

"Miss Swan?" The teacher's voice finally broke through Bella's concentration. Her head snapped up, focusing on his disapproving face. The class giggled quietly at the spectacle, making Bella's face heat up. She hated being the center of attention. "Did your old high school already cover this section?"

"N-no," she stuttered in response, feeling her hands start to tremble as twenty or so pairs of eyes stared at her. It reminded her of that day.

"Have you done your own individual research on this section that would give me reason to believe that you do not need my assistance in learning the material?" His tone was almost sniding, miffed that a student dare disrespect his authority.

Bella could feel her pulse quickening. She tried to breathe deeply as everyone's eyes borred into her like an exhibit at a museum. Curiousity and questioning. Did her mother really die? Is she depressed? Why is she sweating so badly? Is she a total freak now?

"Miss Swan!" The teacher was marching towards her angrily, furious with her noncompliance. Bella's world was spinning, and all she could think was that she had to get out of the classroom. Now.

She jerked out of her seat, knocking it onto the floor. She didn't even see the incredulous look on her teacher's face before she darted out of the room, leaving all of her possessions sprawled on the floor. She stumbled through the hall, trying to fight a bathroom so she could ride out the remainder of her panic attack alone. Normally, she would take a pill when this happened, but the bottle was still in the smallest pocket of her backpack.

Unfortunately, she was unfamiliar with this school and had no idea where a bathroom could be. Her lungs felt like they could barely pull in air. The corners of her vision were getting blurry. She rounded a corner in a hurry and slammed into a brick wall, knocking what little air she had left out of her lungs. She fell to the floor, no strength left to pull herself back up. The exhaustion from no sleep coupled with the onset of one of her many panic attacks felt like a massive hand on her chest, holding her against the cold tile.

Right as she was about to slip into unconsciousness, two hard arms slipped underneath her body and hoisted her into the air. She didn't know where they had come from, or where they were taking her. All she could think about was that she wished her mother was there to hold her hand.


	2. Weird

**Chapter Two: Weird**

The nurse's office was bright. For a few moments after opening her eyes, all Bella could see was white.

"The students were saying that she looked really freaked out. Maybe just first day jitters."

"No, I think it was worse than that. Her... She _said_ her whole body felt like it was going haywire. I think she was having a panic attack."

The voices belonged to the tender voice of a woman, and a silky, low male. Bella assumed they hadn't noticed she was awake, and quickly closed her eyes, knowing they were talking about her.

"Oh, dear. We're suppose to be notified of medical conditions. Of course, this may have just developed..."

"Her mother died, right? She's Chief Swan's daughter?"

Bella felt her chest tighten. Did everyone know? Was she just the talk of the town? Her pulse quickened as she tried to fight the tears stinging her eyes.

"Yes, the poor girl. I can't imagine what it was like seeing her mother-" The male voice cut her off.

"I think she's awake."

Bella immediately ditched the sleeping facade, needing to rub her eyes before the liquid underneath them spilled onto her cheeks.

"Hello, Isabella," the woman dressed in scrubs said kindly. "I'm Elizabeth, the school nurse. How do you feel?"

Bella sat up slowly. She didn't have the strength to protest against the woman using her full name. It seemed trivial to her fatigued mind. "Better. Just really tired." She spotted the source of the male voice standing in the corner, watching her intently. He looked and dressed more her age, so she knew he wasn't a teacher. "Um... Who are you?"

The tall brunette gave her a crooked smile that almost made his face glow. "My apologies. My name is Edward. You ran into me right before you passed out. I was the one that brought you here."

Bella felt her face heat up. The wall she had ran into wasn't a wall, but in fact a particularly attractive boy. She was sure that he had plenty of friends that he would make fun of her with. Her first day had been nothing short of a nightmare.

"Sorry," she whispered, chastising herself for causing so much chaos. This was what she was trying to avoid. She wanted away from this. Away from people thinking she was a total freak.

"It's okay, really," Edward reassured, dropping the arms crossed over his chest. "I just wanted to make sure _you_were okay." As if that didn't make things worse. Not only did she run him over, he feels pity for her. She didn't need his pity. Or anyone else's.

"Well, I'm fine, so you can just go back to class now," Bella snapped, trying to ignore the guilt she felt for being rude to someone that had just helped her, no matter what his intentions were.

Edward seemed nonplussed. "Certainly. I'm sure my algebra teacher's wondering where I've been," he smiled, looking to the nurse, who nodded in agreement. "I do hope you feel better, Bella," he said honestly, finding her gaze with a pair of golden eyes before slipping out of the classroom.

Bella stared after him curiously. How did he know to call her Bella?

She didn't have time to dwell on it. Elizabeth began drilling her on all of her medical needs and any prescriptions she had to take while in school. It took nearly thirty minutes, and by that time Bella was suppose to be in lunch.

Her English teacher lectured her as she picked up her things from the floor. She should be more respectful and attentive. Her behavior will result in detention in the future. He expected more out of the chief's daughter. Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes at the irrationality of that statement. Charlie being her father should have nothing to do with her. She didn't have this problem at her old school, because no one knew who her dad was. Apparently it was going to be a problem here. The realization made her hate having to be there more and more.

The lunchroom was crowded and loud. She almost considered sitting in the bathroom until it was over, because trying to find a place to sit sounded like a nightmare. The few people she recognized gave her a look that made her stomach turn. Luckily, there was a table in a far corner that appeared unoccupied. Bella hurried across the room, avoiding as much eye contact as humanly possible. Her tray had barely clacked against the surface of the table when a girl walked up and sat down across from her without saying a word.

Bella eyed her suspiciously, frozen in place. She didn't recognize her from her classes. She had wide eyes and short, black hair and was looking at her innocently. Did she want something?

"Hello," she greeted, tilting her head at Bella's strange behavior. "My name is Alice. Are you going to sit down?"

Bella suddenly felt silly for being so apprehensive. Not everyone was out to get her. She lowered herself down to the seat, dropping her bag to the ground. "I'm Bella."

Alice smiled widely now, pulling her elbows onto the table in a friendly posture. "So, you just moved here right? I haven't seen you around." Bella nodded.

"Yeah. From Arizona. It's really... wet... here," she stated with a nervous smile, hoping Alice would get her weak attempt at a joke.

Alice laughed, her voice like a bird's song. It made Bella feel nice. "Yeah, it definitely is. Especially for you, coming from a desert area. That must be really hard."

"You have no idea."

The conversation continued to the end of the lunch period. Bella asked and answered more questions as she became comfortable with the short girl. She talked about her hometown, Phoenix, and compared her old high school to Forks High. She found out that Alice had only lived here for a few years as well, so she understand what it was like to change schools. What she loved the most though, is that they never once talked about parents or what happened. Either Alice didn't know (which was very unlikely) or she was very good at playing dumb. No matter which it was, Bella was grateful for it.

When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, Bella didn't want to get up. She had found someone that made her feel comfortable and didn't look at her strange. What if she didn't sit with her tomorrow? What if she pretended like Bella didn't exist? She could lose her only friend when she had barely established acquaintance.

"Same place tomorrow?"

Bella sighed to herself, trying to hide her relief. "Yeah, that sounds good." She grabbed her backpack and pulled it onto her back.

"Oh, you don't mind if someone sits with us tomorrow, do you? Jasper's going to be back at school tomorrow, and he gets an abandoned complex if I don't sit with him at lunch," Alice explained with an affectionate smile.

Bella nodded, though the thought of having someone else in the situation, someone that may not like her and then make Alice not like her, and then she would be alone again, made her a little sick. "Boyfriend?"

"Husband," Alice correctly with a wide smile, picking up her tray. Bella started, eyes wide.

"Husband?" She hoped the surprise didn't come off as rude.

"Yeah, it's a long story. A _really_ long story, actually, but I can give you an abbreviated version sometime. What's your phone number? Maybe we can hang outside of school sometime."

"Uh, yeah, that's fine," Bella stumbled. "Do you need to write it down?"

"Oh, no. I have a very good memory. Consider it jotted down in my head," she assured slyly, setting her tray in the drop-off window. Bella recited the number in a nervous jumble, gripping her books tightly. Alice giggled at her actions and dove into a conversation about the limited supply of things to do in Forks as they exited the lunchroom. By the time they parted ways, Bella was sure that Alice honestly did want to be her friend, and it gave her a dull warmth that she hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

The remainder of the day carried on uneventfully. Bella stayed quiet and attentive, making sure not to call any unnecessary attention to herself. In return, everyone left her alone. She had almost made it to the end of the day without anymore disturbances, when someone knocked on her psychology classroom door.

When the teacher opened the door, it revealed the same boy that had carried her to the nurse's office earlier that day. Bella ducked her head, not wanting him to see her. She didn't want the look he would give her, whether it was mocking or pitiful. She tilted her book in front of her face, peering around the side to watch what he was here for.

The teacher and he exchanged quiet words quickly as he passed a piece of paper to her hand. He turned back to the door to leave, but not before easily finding Bella's stare in the far corner of the classroom. She jumped, not even expecting him to know she was there, and dropped her book on the floor accidentally. Everyone turned to look at her curiously, making her blush.

"Whoops," she whispered, leaning over to grab it. By the time she sat back up, Edward had disappeared from the room and her teacher was standing in front of her, holding out the piece of paper. It was for her?

Bella had to remind her heart not to immediately race. It wasn't going to be bad news. If it was bad news, someone would be talking to her, not giving her a piece of paper. It would be someone important, like the principal or a police officer, not some random boy.

She took the paper with a barely trembling hand and opened it as the teacher walked back to continue wrapping up the lesson. She didn't realize that she had been holding her breath until it came out in a gust from between her lips.

_Father is on call. Won't be able to pick you up from school._

While not good news, she was still grateful. She knew that not every note she got was going to be bad. In fact, she hadn't even gotten many that were bad. It was just that inner fear that something was going to happen to another loved one. That someone special was going to be ripped away from her. This fear was part of her anxiety problems. If she wasn't medicated, she could have gone into another panic attack just from that little square of paper.

The bell signaled the end of the day, and Bella gathered her things slowly. The air was freezing and cold, chilling her instantly. The thought of walking home was already sounding like the worst possible idea. She didn't really have much of a choice, though. She took a deep breath and headed in the direction of her home.

She had barely taken two steps when her path was overshadowed. She looked up to see the same boy. His wild hair stuck out from the hood that framed his angular face, and he smiled down at her.

"Need a ride?"

Bella's eyes narrowed. He must feel bad for her. Or better yet, he's playing a joke on her in front of his friends. There's no way someone like him would be in any way interested in associating with someone like her.

"No, I'm fine," she replied lowly, dodging around his body to continue walking. She expected that to be enough. Surely he wouldn't want to waste any more time trying to invade her already damaged life.

"It's really cold, though," came his voice from right beside her. He was keeping up with her quickened pace easily. Bella kept her face straight, refusing to be conned. "And it's suppose to start raining again soon." She continued to ignore him.

Edward was suddenly in front of her, almost causing her to slam into him for the second time that day. "Why are you being so irrational?" he asked with an amused smile, catching her shoulders before she collided into his chest. Bella scowled to herself, ripping away from his touch.

"Why are you being so pushy? I said no, now get away from me." She tried to go around him, but this time he moved to block her, kneeling his head down and forcing her to look at his face.

"Bella, I'm not trying to hurt you." His voice was serious now, all smiles erased from his pale lips. Bella was startled by the rich gold of his eyes. It almost wasn't natural. Bella restrained the urge to punch him in the face, seeing honesty in the corners of his eyes. "I swear. I'm just going to give you a ride home. I'll leave as soon as your home."

Confusion welled inside of her, mixing with her instinct to flee. She could barely form words. "Wh-why does it matter? Why do you care?" Her eyes were suspicious, pressing into his.

Edward chuckled, looking at her playfully. "You're going to think it's weird."

"I already think you're weird," Bella sighed.

He grinned, straightening up again. "It's just... You... Puzzle me. Something about you is perplexing to me, and it has nothing to do with the things that have happened to you," he rushed quickly, seeing her apprehension. "It's just _you._ I know I'm just some guy that you met a few hours ago, and I understand why you think I'm weird," he grinned, "but I really would be interested in getting to know you. I want to understand you." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "And I think you're very pretty."

Bella stared at him. "I barely know you."

He nodded. "I know."

Her mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. "I..."

"You don't understand." Edward shrugged. "I don't either."

"And you... think I'm pretty?"

"Very," he nodded, smiling again. Bella's brow furrowed. She tried really hard to think about what point in this conversation had caused it to make so little sense. Then she realized that nothing had made any sense. When she passed out, he should have gotten a teacher. He could have left her there. He didn't. And he thought she was pretty?

"You... are a freak," she concluded, tilting her head. Edward was hardly discouraged.

"If it means you'll allow me to drive you home, I'm perfectly okay with that." This statement reminded Bella why they were having this conversation. The cold, wet air was chilling, making the walk seem like more and more of a bad idea. She was quickly losing the internal battle with herself.

"Um... Yeah, I guess," she finally said, throwing up an arm in a half-hearted surrender.

As Edward drove her home, she tried to suss out in her head whether this new-found attention was a good thing or a bad thing. And honestly, at this point, she really wasn't sure.

tbc...


	3. He's Like My Brother, Kind Of

**Chapter Three: He's Like My Brother... Kind of**

There was screaming. Terrible, horrible screams that ripped through the night like a serrated knife. They filled every molecule of space within Bella's head, forcing her to her knees in agony. The ground was wet and hard and dug into her skin. The screaming continued. It was a voice that was familiar to her, but not like this. This was nothing she had ever heard before.

Blood. Blood is everywhere. It runs down the street, mixing with the rain, forming little rivlets across the pavement. It's on Bella's hands. Her own cry of horror catches in her throat. Where did the blood come from?

A piercing cackle stings in her ears, mocking her pain.

The blood is now the rain, pouring over her huddled form, drenching her body in crimson. It seeped into her eyes, her mouth, her throat. She could vividly taste the metallic liquid. It seeped into her like poison and filled her with a feeling of absolute helplessness.

Her dead mother stared at her, lifeless and limp, from the ground a few feet away. Her throat was ripped apart, allowing the last remains of her life to drip onto the pavement.

The cackling returned, filling Bella's entire being. The merciless, evil laughter rang in her ears. It grew lounder and louder and louder...

The screams left Bella's throat raw when she finally woke up, drenched in a pool of sweat. Everything stuck to her as her chest heaved, pulling in as much oxygen as she could between screams. She clawed at her skin, the imaginary blood not quite gone from her mental imagery.

It was the third time it had happened this week. Charlie didn't even come to her room this time, though she knew he was listening to make sure she eventually calmed down. He understood that his presence was not helpful. Bella did not like people to see her like this.

She stripped the soaked clothing from her skin as her hands trembled. Tears still continued to slip down her skin. They left splotches on the carpet. She grabbed a small pouch and slipped quietly to the bathroom, where she spent the next two hours fighting against her nightmares until dawn.

* * *

"It's a good thing you're such a history buff," Bella groaned. "I would have never survived this." This being a three page report on something to do with World War II. Her teacher had assigned it three days before Bella had come to Forks, already putting her at the disadvantage of being able to get it done. It had been almost two weeks, and the paper was due the next day.

"Probably not," Alice joked. Her fingers flew across the keyboard, easily piecing together the paper.

"God, it's like you don't even have to think about it," Bella said in awe, staring as her paper was written at record speed.

"I really don't," Alice shrugged. "Everything's really... vivid to me. Like I've seen it. It's almost a memory, I guess," she laughed. "All I'm doing in writing down what I see."

"I wish it was that easy for me," Bella grumbled good-naturedly. She climbed off the leather couch and headed for the kitchen of Alice's home. It was gorgeous. Everything was coordinated and colorful and elaborate. The ceilings were high, and the carpet was unbelievably soft. The only other house she had been in that could match this home was a friend whose father was a lawyer. Alice wasn't even employed.

Bella knew it would be rude to ask, so she didn't. That didn't mean she wasn't curious. Did she inherit it? Did she have an "under-the-table" job? It was a mystery to her, but she wasn't going to invade Alice's privacy to solve it.

"Hey, Jasper," Bella called when she saw the figure lounging in the study with a book resting casually in his hand.

"Hello, Bella," he replied, glancing up briefly to give her a small smile before returning to his book.

Bella liked Jasper, even though she wasn't sure at first if he liked her. He was very stiff and short, and rarely made eye contact with anyone except Alice. At first she thought that he just didn't like her, and it made her nervous. But when she realized that he had a class with her after lunch, and saw that he was like that with everyone, she figured he was just shy. Then, she saw him in his own home, away from the high school, and saw that he was much more laid back and comfortable to be around. Alice told her that he just didn't like being around a lot of people. Bella understood that.

She opened the fridge and frowned at the scarce options. There was a jug of tea that Alice had been making when Bella arrived, but other than that, the fridge was completely bare.

"Alice, don't you need to go grocery shopping?" she called as she poured a glass of tea. "You have _no_ food."

"Not really," came the response. "We usually eat out." Bella shrugged and returned to the living room where Alice was putting the finishing touches on the paper.

"You're a lifesaver," Bella sighed gratefully, stretching out her limbs. She felt silly for feeling so mentally exhausted when all she had done was watch Alice type.

"I'm not the first one," Alice said casually, a smirk playing on her lips. It took Bella a moment to register what she said when it felt like lead had dropped in her stomach. She hadn't had a conversation with Edward since he dropped her off at her home the week before. They passed each other in the hall occasionally, and he was would give her a genuine smile that she wished she could believe in. But she was still apprehensive and unsure about this strange boy, and it kept her from seeking out his presence. She assumed that he sensed that, and was giving her space. Maybe she was wrong.

"You know about that?" she asked, her voice almost trembling. If Alice knew, then surely everybody knew. Which means that Edward didn't actually want to get to know her, he just wanted to spread around the school how heroic he was. Taking in the poor, pathetic little girl that was sad because she lost-

Alice quickly cut off her thoughts when she realized the turn in Bella's expression. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's wrong? I thought that was a good thing!" She was almost in a panic, not expecting this kind of reaction.

"Not if he's telling everybody," Bella scowled, her voice low with hurt. "That just makes him like every other asshole."

"What makes you think he told everybody?" Bella looked up at her as if the answer was obvious.

"How did _you_ find out?"

"I-" Alice stopped. The expression on her face suddenly made Bella anxious. There was something that she didn't know about the situation. "Well, it's like..." She stopped again, unable to find the right words. The words that would cause Bella the least amount of pain.

"What are you keeping from me?" Bella whispered, betrayal saturating her words. She trusted Alice. Alice was her only friend. Alice couldn't do her wrong. It was too soon.

"It's really not that bad-"

"Then why are you having such a hard time telling me?" Bella's accusational tone was impossible to miss, and Alice's eyes were suddenly filled with guilt.

"Because I don't want you to misunderstand what's going on. Bella, you are my friend," Alice said in a firm tone that wouldn't allow argument. "I see us being friends for a long time, and I'm really glad that I sat down with you and started talking to you. It's just..." Bella braced herself. "I came to sit down with you, because someone asked me to get to know you."

Bella took in this new information slowly, processing it and turning it over in her head to find all the spikes and poison. "So, you didn't sit down because you wanted to be my friend," Bella summarized, trying to hide the crack in her voice.

"Not at first, but as soon as we started talking, I liked you!" Alice insisted. "I wanted to be your friend, it just wasn't the motivation for sitting down. It would be no different than if all the other seats were full and I sat with you because I didn't have another option, and we became friends. Just because it wasn't my intention doesn't change what I feel now."

Now Bella focused on the other part of Alice's confession. "But you told someone about me."

Alice nodded. Bella didn't even bother with asking who. It was quite obvious at this point. "Not everything we talked about," Alice assured. "Just the basics. And only from that first conversation. He... Edward... is a good guy, Bella. He's not going to mess with you."

"How do you know Edward?" Alice cringed again, but Bella was less worried. The worst of it had washed over her, and though her heart pounded at the finding, she knew that Alice was telling the truth.

"He's kind of like part of my family," Alice said slowly, gauging Bella's reaction. "It's kind of hard to explain. He's kind of like my brother, I guess, but not technically." Bella nodded in understanding. "You hate me, don't you?"

Bella didn't answer right away, though she knew she didn't hate her. She was just trying to sum up in her head the exact amount that Alice had done her wrong, and when she weighed it all out and thought about how things were now, the ache on her heart lessened. "I don't hate you," Bella said, giving her a small smile. "It was just... unexpected..."

"I really am sorry, Bella," Alice said honestly. "I just didn't want you to think that I was just being your friend to help out Edward."

Bella nodded again. "I get it." She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and pulled her knees up to her chest. "So... what exactly did Edward want to know about me?"

Alice smiled broadly, happy for the change in conversation. She set the laptop on the floor and turned to face Bella. "Well, he wanted to know the basics at first. Where you came from, what grade you were in, stuff like that. And now... he's just waiting for you to let him in."

"I don't understand," Bella said, dropping her chin to her knees. "Why is he so interested in getting to know me?" She looked up at Alice expectantly.

"He doesn't really know, honestly," Alice shrugged, relaying the same words Bella had heard from the boy himself. "He's just kind of drawn to you."

"That's kind of creepy," Bella giggled.

"It's really not," Alice reassured. "Edward is... not one to take interest in people very easily. Other than his family, he generally keeps to himself. That's one of the reasons he's curious about you. He's not used to feeling this way towards someone, especially someone he barely knows."

Bella shifted uncomfortably. "But what if I don't like him? I mean, he's pretty and seems sweet, but I'm not just falling over drooling." Alice laughed at this, but her expression was curious.

"I think he'll change your mind. Just give him a chance. But if not," her tone made Bella think she didn't expect Edward to be unsuccessful, "I'm sure he'll leave you alone."

Bella nodded. "Well, if you were a spy for him, there's no reason you can't do the same for me," Bella concluded slyly. "Tell me about him."

Alice seemed so happy by her interest as she went on about her "kind of" brother that Bella really hoped Edward lived up to everything Alice had made him up to be. But, if nothing else, she decided that she would give him a chance.

tbc...

A/N: Hey guys. I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate everyone who is leaving me awesome reviews, and I just want to encourage everyone else who is reading my story to leave me comments as well. Tell me what you like, don't like, anything. If you've ever put a story up on this website, I'm sure you understand that wonderful feeling you get when you see that you have reviews, so be the bestest bestest readers in the whole world and give me that feeling please! It really makes my day brighter!


	4. Fade In and Out of Reason

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A/N: Hello all! I greatly apologize for it being so long since I have updated. I'm in college AND taking a fiction writing class which means not only do I not have much time to write, but the time that I do, I have to devote it to that class. I will update whenever possibly. I apologize for it not being on a consistent schedule, but if you enjoy the story, just keep it on your alerts so you know when I've gotten a spare chance to update. Thank you for your patience! Without further ado...

**Chapter Five: Fade In and Out of Reason**

Walking up to Forks High covered in rain and mud, Bella's prospects for the day were getting dimmer and dimmer. It had started out fairly. She had managed to sleep decently, and felt rejuvenated enough to spend a few extra special minutes to pick out something nice to wear, as opposed to the jeans and pullover she had been adorning for the last two weeks.

She had been planning on talking to Edward today. She wasn't quite sure what she was going to say, or what exactly she wanted to come of it, but she had promised Alice she'd talk to him, and promises were not something she took lightly. She had almost been... excited? Maybe that was too strong of a word. Excitement was not something she could use to describe any emotion she was experiencing as of late. A more appropriate word would be _curious._ She wanted to know what exactly was up with this strange boy, and why he was so interested in her.

Well, needless to say, whether she had found a whole thesaurus of words to describe the feeling she had about talking to him, they had all been drowned in the watery death of Forks consistent weather. Her father got called into work at the last minute, an emergency, and couldn't give her a ride to school. By the time she reached the cover of the highschool, she was completely soaked through and covered to her knees in mud. On top of that, the math homework she had spent two hours working through was now completely ruined. She was so upset, she considered turning back around and going back home.

And she would have, had Alice not spotted her moments before she finalized her decision.

"Bella! Jeez, what happened to you?" Bella almost started crying, all remains of a good day washed away by the rain. She tried really hard not to let things like this overwhelm her, but when it actually came to resisting the urge, all the relaxing techniques her therapist taught her seemed as if they had never existed.

"Everything," Bella sniffed, thankful that the rain made her tears unnoticeable.

"Well, listen to this," Alice said, completely overlooking Bella's woes and diving into her own story. "Guess what happened this morning?" She must have mistook Bella's slightly put-off expression for curiosity, because she continued without any cue from Bella. "Edward got into a fight!" Before Bella could so much as form a facial expression regarding the news, Alice added the most interesting piece of the story. "Over you!"

Now she was confused. "What? Why?" Her morning was already fading from the forefront of her concern. Alice looked as if she were about to delve into the recount when she stopped before the first word escaped.

"Ask him yourself."

Bella turned and saw the tall boy walking towards them with a hint of a smirk gracing his lips. She suppressed a painful groan when she realized she looked like a wet dog. He held up a pink slip of paper as he walked up.

"Three day suspension," he stated almost proudly. His voice was cool and low. "Hello, Bella."

She almost jumped at his acknowledgement. She had been hoping he would just not even notice her, seeing as how she pretty much blended in with the dreary surroundings. She forced a small, polite smile. "Hey."

He turned his attention back to Alice. "Carlisle isn't going to be happy." But the news didn't really seem to bother him.

Alice shrugged. "How bad did you hurt him?" The humorous wince was enough explanation. "Dammit, Edward... You could have... Really, really hurt him..." Edward was not concerned. "Whatever. You're the one that has to deal with Carlisle, not me. Well, I have to get to class," she sighed, glancing at Bella. "I guess I'll see you guys later." Shaking her head one last time, she turned and headed inside the main building.

Bella inwardly groaned once more. Now she had to find a way to get away from Edward. She could have just gone with Alice, but she had already decided that she wasn't stepping inside that school looking like she did.

"Did you have to walk?" Edward finally asked, turning his head towards her. Bella noticed that his eyes seemed darker today. She figured it was the testosterone pumping through him from the fight.

"Uh, yeah," she nodded awkwardly. The grip on her book bag was tense. "I'm actually about to go back home, though. Spending the day here completely soaked doesn't sound like fun..."

"Really?" He turned his body toward her now, standing fairly close with his arms crossed over his chest. Bella had to look up to see his face. "You should allow me to give you a ride home. After all, I am suspended," he reminded her with a lop-sided grin.

Bella's grip tightened. "No, no, I couldn't. Your car would get ruined, and it's not that far of a walk-"

"I insist," he insisted. "Besides, I know Alice just missed the opportunity to tell you the story that every teenage girl is whispering frantically about at this very second." Bella was pleased to see that his tone was mocking and not joyous.

"Well, I mean, I am... Curious..."

"Then, please, grant me the privilege of telling you," he grinned, moving an ever-so-slight half-inch closer to her.

"I-..." She thought over what had happened last time she fought with him over this subject, and figured that he was even less likely to give in now than he was last week. "I guess..."

"Well then, let's go before the principal sees that I haven't left campus yet," he nodded and set off in the direction of the parking lot. Bella followed him slowly, still apprehensive. Even though she was told that there was nothing to worry about when it came to Edward, Bella couldn't help but be edgy.

Edward led her to his silver vehicle, opening the door for her on his way around to the driver's side. Bella noted the CDs littering the floor and dashboard. She saw a few that were some of her favorites, and smiled to herself without even realizing it.

"See anything you like?" Edward asked.

Bella shrugged and buckled her seat belt. "I like just about everything."

Edward pushed a CD into the slot on the dashboard without even looking to see what it was. He pulled away from the school and headed towards Bella's house. "So, you live with your father right? Just you and Chief Swan?"

"I thought we were suppose to be talking about you," Bella asked slowly and glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Edward smirked.

"Okay. What do you want to know, Bella?" The car was going the fastest she had ever gone in a vehicle before, but the sensation was almost soothing. The trees were rushing by in what should be an alarming rate, and the rain was coming down in sheets, but Edward hardly paid attention to the road.

"What... What happened this morning?" she asked tentatively. Her eyes were focused on the barely visible lines on the asphalt.

Edwards hands twisted on the steering wheel, kneading the leather padding. "I heard one of the guys saying some not very nice things on my way to class. I mearly gave him a lesson in how women should and should not be treated."

Bella felt her stomach clench with sadness. Running from her problems back in Pheonix had obviously been unsuccessful. "What did he say?"

"I'm not going to tell you," he said simply, looking over at her with dark eyes. "Because none of it is true."

"How do you know?" Bella suddenly exploded and slammed her clenched fists down on her knees. "You don't know anything about me! All you know is what Alice has told you, and that's just because you made her be my friend to satisfy your weird obsession!" Tears were stinging her eyes by this point.

"I want to know more about you, Bella," he replied calmly.

"Fine!" she shouted, getting more worked up by the second. "You want to know things about me?! My mother was murdered three months ago right in front of me! I'm on almost ten different medications to keep myself from committing suicide! I know that everyone talks about me! I know everyone thinks I'm a freak! Why can't you just act like everyone else and stop fucking with my head?!"

They were coming up the road where Bella's house sat on the right, partially concealed by a group of trees.

"Because I'm not like everybody else."

The gravel of the driveway crumbled beneath the tires as Edward pulled into the driveway. She was shaking with barely controlled emotion. Her heart and mind felt so completely overwhelmed that she couldn't form a single coherent thought. Tears were escaping down her skin, dripping down on her fists.

"What are you afraid of, Bella?"

What was she afraid of? Everything. She had become a walking zombie depending on pills with names she couldn't pronounce to keep her from jumping at her own shadow. Every noise, every whisper, every phone call, every note. What was that? Is she in danger? Fight or flight? Run, run, run from everything that could get you. It could happen anywhere, as she so very well knew. The only thing that didn't seem to invoke a feeling of absolute terror was the thought of a peaceful, becoming death. No more fear or anxiety or pain. No one can leave you (no one can die) when you're not around to know they're gone...

By the time Bella could even catch up with her thoughts, all of her strength dissolved. Her entire body slackened and with it came everything she had been holding back until that second. Her silent tears turned to sobs as she sank into the passenger seat.

Edward watched her carefully and silently, knowing that any physical comfort would be unwelcome.

She couldn't keep track of how long she cried. Each second blurred together and she didn't even give it a second thought until she realized that in the time it had stopped raining. Her entire body felt drained and weak as a few lagging tears trailed over her cheeks.

"I... don't want... to be afraid anymore..." The thought had never occurred before that time, but as the statement came out in a barely-there whisper, she knew she meant it so very much.

"I would like to help you, if you will allow me to."

Bella looked at him and felt the fear and resistance pushing against her heart. Except this time, she fought back.

"I-I'll try." For that, he gave her a gentle smile.

"Would you like to start tonight?"

tbc...


	5. The Challenge

Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight.

A/N: Hey, look! I got so stoked from my last update that I managed to pop out another one fairly quickly! I'm totally ditching my fiction class for this, but this is so much more fun to write. :) Thank you all for your fabulous comments. I appreciate anyone that has or will leave me something. It absolutely makes my day and makes me much more motivated to write when I know there are people in the world waiting for a new chapter. Anyway, hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Chapter Five: The Challenge**

Bella stared at the blindfold, trying to find a way to redirect her mind away from "flight" mode. "W-what?"

"There's a place that I go when I need to think. It's not far from here." Edward's tone was patient as he held the blindfold with both hands before her.

"Why do I have to be blindfolded?" _Stop being so scared, stop being so scared, stop being so scared!_

"Because I want you to trust me to lead you there safely," he said simply.

Bella's brow deepened in confusion. "But I have no reason to trust you."

He smiled slightly. "No, you have no reason not to. If you can't trust someone as soon as you meet them, how do you build a relationship with them? You have to trust until someone gives you a reason not to, and I have not, so..." He gestured the blindfold to her.

Bella wrang her hands in unease. Shouldn't things like this begin with baby steps? Like trusting him to catch her when she falls backwards, like they do at summer camp? But Bella didn't want to back down on his first attempt to help her, even if it was a bit extreme. She would never get anywhere that way.

"Uh, as long as you promise that if we run into a bear or something, you're not gonna run off and leave me like a little girl." Her tone was sarcastic to hide her seriousness. She wanted yet another affirmation that she would be safe with him.

Edward grinned slyly. "You underestimate me, Bella. I'm a lot tougher than I look."

"Sorry, but it's hard to think of someone with that much gel in his hair being capable of battle with a grizzly." A small smile tipped her lips as Edward faked a hurt expression. She allowed the gentle moment to soothe her and put her in a better state of mind.

"I should be highly offended by that remark," he teased as he finally slipped the blindfold snugly over her brown eyes. The darkness was disorientating at first, causing her head to spin slightly.

"Um, I should probably warn you ahead of time that I'm a walking disaster by nature, so this might end with a trip to the emergency room," she warned nervously. She couldn't tell where exactly he was in her proximity other than one of his hands kept contact with her arm as he came around her.

"Not to worry, Bella," his low voice appeared close to her ear. "I won't allow any harm to come to you." With her vision cut off, she could hear his voice more clearly, feeling the inflection of assurance laced in his tone.

She swallowed hard. "I-I'm trying very hard to believe you."

"I would ask for nothing more." He curled his arm around her own in a secure grasp. "Shall we?"

Bella took a deep breath and nodded. They set off into the woods.

She was immediately surprised at the ease with which they trekked through the wildlife. It was long past sunset, so she was sure Edward's vision must be limited, but she had yet to hit a single tree root or branch. He directed her gently and patiently. A few times, he slipped his arm around her waist and effortlessly lifted her over a larger obtrusion. Bella didn't know whether she felt more terror from having her feet leave the ground or butterflies from having his arm clench around her so tightly.

"Almost there," he assured as he returned her feet to the earth for the fourth time. Bella took a few deep breaths to calm her accelerated pulse. It was becoming easier to not be frightened, and she was sure that she would make it to the end of her journey without becoming too worked up.

However, her surroundings were intent on testing her self-control. There was a ruffle of brush off to her right, followed by a few snapping twigs. Bella's chest immediately started pounding.

"What was that?" she demanded in a nearly frantic tone. Her entire body tensed as a million scenarios flashed through her mind's eye. A bear? Snake? Per-? Serial killer?! A knife? Blazing eyes?

"I'm sure it was no-"

"How do you know? Did you see it? _Did you?_" She wasn't even giving him time to answer as words spilled out in an uncontrollable hysteric.

She was panting, nearing hyperventilating. Tears were soaking into her blindfold and she gripped tightly onto Edward's arm.

"I want this off, I want it off, please, please, let me take it off," she began to beg, trying not to sob. The only amount of self-control she had left was keeping her from ripping the material away from her eyes immediately. She didn't want to fail so easily, but she was nearing a full-fledged panic attack.

Her pleading faded to a pathetic whisper as her vision was suddenly returned to her. Edward was mere inches from her face, hands on either side of her head.

"Bella... Bella! Look at me! It was a rabbit, that's all. A harmless rabbit... Bella!"

Her eyes kept darting to every visible inch of their surroundings, searching for the danger. Edward's words were barely penetrating her conscious. And honestly, she wasn't even actually seeing anything.

She was seeing those eyes.

"_BELLA!_"

The dome forming around her mind shattered and she almost screamed. She realized what had happened and immediately choked on fresh tears. Her body trembled. "I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry-y-y."

"Don't be sorry, Bella," Edward assured softly. He helped her over to a boulder covered in moss, where she slowly began to calm down. Her hands still shook slightly in her lap.

"How often does this happen?" he asked in a near whisper, but Bella still started. She used her sleeve to wipe away the remains of her fit from her cheeks. Her breathing was almost back to normal.

"I-It was really b-bad at first, but since I s-started taking my medicine, it only happens, like, o-once every couple of weeks."

Bella assumed he could figure out when it started. "You probably think I'm a freak now," she sniffed, trying to force a half-smile onto her face. It felt more like a grimace.

"Of course not. I just wish I could understand what you're going through. What's going on in your head..." Frustration was etched in his voice, suprising her.

"You really don't," she assured him with a sniff. "You pretty much feel like you're going to die. At least I know when I do die, I'll be prepared for it." It had even comforted her at one point.

Edward looked at her for a long time, but Bella wasn't bothered. His gaze wasn't scrutinizing or pitiful. He was just watching at her. It almost felt protective.

Once Bella was sure that her body had returned to its normal function, she took a deep breath. "So, um... Do you wanna keep going?"

Edward's eyes narrowed in apprehension. "Are you sure? I can take you back home if you would like. You must be exhausted."

She was, but she remembered why she had come here. It was a challenge. The panic attack had been a setback, but if she went home now, she would feel like a failure.

Bella nodded. "I want to go."

Eward smiled. "Well, we'll forgo the blindfold for the rest of the trip."

"Probably a good idea." Edward helped Bella off of the boulder and they set off once more. Her eyesight was elevated from being in complete darkness for so long. Of course, that didn't mean that her foot couldn't manage to somehow become entangled in the brush. She sometimes wondered if her feet had a mind of their own.

"Whoa," Edward laughed, catching her around the waist as her body lurched forward. Bella felt her face heat up. "You seem to be a bit accident-prone," he stated as she kicked the weeds away from her foot.

"Unfortunately," she mumbled. "I was hoping I'd grow out of it once I stopped growing, but apparently I'm stuck with it. I can't count the number of times I've had to go to the hospital because I've fallen down stairs."

"Sounds like you need someone to protect you from yourself."

Bella felt her stomach turn at the truth in that statement. But she didn't have to come up with a response. They had arrived.

The trees stopped as they stepped into a broad meadow. The sky was cloudless and the stars sparkled across the darkness. The shaggy grass was soft beneath her shoes. She imagined how beautiful it looked when it snowed, or in the spring when dandelions were sprinkled across the ground. Now, all she could see was the sky.

"How'd you end up all the way out here?" Bella asked softly. "I can't really see you as the hunting type."

She heard a smile in his response. "I have a lot of free time. I like to wander."

Bella gave a small shrug. "I like to stick to more inhabited areas when I'm feeling restless." She began to walk farther into the meadow, looking around at the expanse of land.

"You'll find that the inhabited areas of Forks tend to be pretty uninteresting. There's nothing new to discover after two or three passes. The woods, one the other hand, always reveal something new. Do you like it?"

Bella looked back at him with a curious expression. "Uh... Yeah. It's beautiful." His tone almost made it sound like it was a present for her. She didn't really know what to think about it.

Edward came up beside her. "So, have I given you any reason not to trust me?" He was looking at her again. Bella met his gaze.

"Not this time."

Edward chuckled. "You sound disappointed."

Bella dropped her gaze and returned it up to the sky. "Not disappointed... Just cautious. I've... lost trust in humanity a little." She fought the familiar swell in her chest as emotions swirled beneath the surface.

"Because of your mother?"

It was the first time someone had directly brought the subject up since she had been here. She felt so numb to the thoughts of her mother's brutal death. It was as if the tears and pain were trapped in her heart, poisoning her.

"A little." Her voice was tiny now. "A bunch of things, really. That was just the catalyst."

They stood for a while in the meadow, Bella looking at the sky, Edward looking at her. Bella imagined that Orion's Belt was her mother's favorite diamond necklace. It made her feel like she was right over her head, larger than life. She could almost feel her embrace. She couldn't decide if it made her feel better or worse. Bella missed her so very much.

"What are you thinking?" He was looking at her like he was trying to see her thoughts through her head.

"Am I really that interesting to you?" she asked, a curious expression on her face. Edward focused his eyes onto hers.

"You have no idea." Bella shook her head.

"Well, I'm thinking that it's getting late and my dad is going to be polishing his shotgun right about now if I don't get home pretty soon."

Edward grinned. "Dating must be rough when you're the sheriff's daughter." They began to head back towards the edge of the meadow.

"Don't know just yet," she sighed. "I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later."

"Which would you prefer?"

Bella was taken back by his question and almost lost her footing on a slippery rock. Edward had her arm to help her before she could blink.

"What do you mean?" she asked, staring intently at the treacherous ground.

"Sooner or later?"

Bella felt her face flush as she realized the intent of his question. "I, uh... I-I don't really know. I've... I've never really had a... a boyfriend..."

Dating had never really been her thing. She didn't see the allure in teenage boys. Most of them were immature and sex-driven. The others were pathetic and awkward. And _none_ of them had ever noticed her. It was okay with her, though. She enjoyed keeping to herself.

"Were all your classmates blind?"

Bella gave a nervous laugh. "Um, no, I don't think so. Well, maybe one, but he'd had the same girlfriend since middle school."

Edward shook his head. "You amaze me, Bella Swan."

"I'm not trying to. I swear. If anything, I thought I would be scaring you off right about now."

"Trust me, Bella," he said in a low voice, looking over at her. "The last place I'd want to go right now is away from you."

The rest of the walk was made in silence, and for once, Bella's heart wasn't racing in fear.


End file.
